Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
my poor anus
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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