He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
