i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
