Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize