I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
