This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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