the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
