let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
