You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize