Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize