i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
