Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i think my mom watched the whole time
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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