I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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