I'm really into asian looking animals
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
