i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
