he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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