Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
honey bunches of taint.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
