You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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