I want to have your abortion
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
