I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
