finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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