I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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