puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she told me i tasted like america
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
