My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
did i just pee glitter
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
