you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
