On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You were trust falling into bushes
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
