Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
