The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
