so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
