trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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