if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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