Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
