i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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