You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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