Buhtt sex?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
