All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
