do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
