I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The power of my boobs compel you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
