ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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