I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
