i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize