hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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