Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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