Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Drunk is not a location!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize