When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
