do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
