she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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