That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
