There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
