Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
