i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
