Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
