Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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