Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
