ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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