Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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