Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
