did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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