in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
