hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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