Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize