no, he came in my armpit
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The beer is more important than you right now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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