I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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